Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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