well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
