Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
