I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You pole danced in your parka.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
