FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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