He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
