Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
