when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She told me I should be a condom model.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
