I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Dick very happy bro
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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