Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
