Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
