someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Randomize
