I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
