I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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