he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Rumble strips road head = magical
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
