i need an iv and a liver transplant
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
