No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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