You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
