help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
