the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
