I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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