I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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