you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Girls should come with a carfax report
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
