Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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