just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
