Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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