I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm too high and old for this...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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