here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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