Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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