i don't plan on having that self control this summer
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
