Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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