You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
