my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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