there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
