she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
