I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
