i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
