you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
