There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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