If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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