what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
