the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
two words: eviction party
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Randomize
