fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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