Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Floor bacon is actually really good
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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