if only i could text you this smell
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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