you would pick up someone in the library
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
