He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
