Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
