I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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