Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
