went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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